Pakistan's government needs helicopters to ferry supplies and equipment to remote areas to aid survivors of the Oct. 8 earthquake that left more than 20,000 dead, an official said. Hooray! Maybe we can stop hearing about Natalee fuckin Holloway for ONE WHOLE DAY!

God has definitely had Lil Jon's 'Crunk Juice' in constant rotation, a 7.6 magnitude earthquake, the worst in the disputed northern region of Kashmir in 100 years--and putting all of the Pimp My Ride subwoofers to pure SHAME, left tens of thousands homeless in Pakistan and India amid collapsed buildings and aftershocks. Rescue workers are struggling to get to the mountainous region because roads are damaged and smashed like a clove of garlic. BAM! Reportedly, the wait time to enter Hell is longer than a line at the DMV, only with less non-English speaking muthafuckas.

"It is a challenging task,'' Interior Minister Aftab Sherpao said in a telephone interview. "We hope this will improve as we get helicopters from the U.S. and more rescue teams arrive from overseas.'' They would have more gotten help from local countries, but they all drowned in the tsunami earlier this year. Dah well.

The latest official death toll in Pakistan is 20,745 dead and 46,119 injured, Sherpao said. In India, almost 600 people died in Jammu and Kashmir state, the regional government said. Kathy Lee Gifford is pissed off that a vast majority of her sweat shop child laborers are no longer alive to sew her shitty ass K-Mart fashions.

The toll "is expected to rise as we reach out to the inaccessible areas and get more information,'' Sherpao said. "We are making all efforts to open roads and communication networks in far-flung areas.''

And now for a gang of foreign ass words and names and shit that most Americans cannot pronounce:

Most of the casualties were in the part of Kashmir controlled by Pakistan, a predominantly mountainous area with a population of about 1.5 million, north of the capital Islamabad, where buildings also collapsed.

In Muzaffarabad, the capital of Pakistan-controlled Kashmir, 70 percent of the buildings were damaged or had collapsed, police said. Muzaffarabad, which was closest to the quake's epicenter, has a population of 90,000 people, according to the Worldisround Web site.

The toll in Pakistan rose to 35,000, including 30,000 in Pakistan-controlled Kashmir, the News reported today, citing government officials. John Edward, formerly of "Crossing Over with John Edward", is pissed off his show is cancelled, because all these dead spirits would have made him a shitload of money by helping him tell the mourning relatives what their last thought was, which was probably "OH SHIT!"

In India, the death toll in the northern state of Jammu and Kashmir was 580, the state government said in a press release. That includes 100 security personnel who died near the border with Pakistan, the state government said. Most of India's casualties were in Muslin-dominated Jammu and Kashmir, with two deaths in Punjab, the federal government said earlier.

In regards to retrieving the dead bodies, "It is the biggest tragedy in the history of our nation,'' he said yesterday. I guess he forgot about the increasing poverty line. Can a muthafucka get some bread please? United States FEMA officials have warned Bush, "If you send us there, we fuckin quit homie".

In obvious efforts of increasing his approval rating, U.S. President George W. Bush yesterday pledged the U.S. would send money and equipment to Pakistan, including dispatching eight helicopters to assist with rescue efforts in exchange for an authentic Tikka Kabab recipe. Bastard.

Original article can be found on Bloomberg.