Infinity Broadcasting has named the former front man and currently unemployed rocker David Lee Roth as one of two replacements for Howard Stern. The other ball of talent will be handyman and journeyman Adam Carolle. Roth got his start in radio when he was fired as front man for 80's rocker band Van Halen. Carolla started his career in radio with LA radio station KROQ's Kevin and Bean.

"If he's as funny as Kevin and Bean," said an LA radio fan, "then infinity is screwed, cause they suck!"

Roth will helm most of the East Coast stations while Carolle will helm the West Coast. "People will have to move to the middle of America," said one entertainment guru, "just to avoid these two, the poorer ones will have to buy Sirius radios. It's not really fair to anybody."