"The revolutionary FIRM method combines weight training and aerobics in a unique, effective and fun way that maximizes your ability to burn fat and calories, sculpting and shaping your entire body in the process. But The FIRM does more than boost calorie burn, tone muscle and help you develop the body you've always wanted -- it increases energy and builds self-confidence and self-esteem so that you not only look great, you feel great. The FIRM is all you'll ever need to get and stay in shape."

For the past few years, I've taken office jobs just to keep designer clothes on my back that I couldn't afford, and eat out every weekend. As a result of working at a desk all day, I gained 10 pounds. I decided to remove some layers of unwanted fat, but I had no general idea of how I'd go about it. I GLANCED at that Atkins diet shit, and when I saw I couldn't eat bread, I took the pages of that diet out and wiped my ass with it for a whole month. Fuck that shit. So I started doing some reading, because I refused to believe that in order to lose weight I'd have to give up carbs. After som extensive research, I luckily found out that I could lose weight AND eat pasta if I wanted to. Basically, to lose weight, you need to exercise and eat whatever the fuck you want in MODERATION and control your portions. Plain and simple. So I eat whatever the hell I want, I just don't eat nearly as much of it as I used to. I used to be a "can i get seconds" bitch. I've never been huge, but my ass was spreading like SARS. Then after making small changes to my eating habits, I knew I'd have to incorporate some sort of exercise routine into my busy schedule. First I decided to dust the cobwebs off the treadmil and use that. But I got bored with that shit real quick. Then, typically, I saw an infomercial for The Firm. I decided to use it because in all honesty, I've heard good things about it before. It arrived, and I worked out to a video called Complete Aerobics and Weight Training with Firm instructor Emily Welsh.

GOT.DAMN!!!

I was fucked. But fucked in a good way. I amazingly survived the 50min. video, but the next day, it felt as though I had about 79 fat bitches run over me repeatedly. I was hurt. This is how I knew this shit would work for me. Because I sweated buckets, and I felt really good aside from the fucking pain. I felt like D'Angelo probably feels right about now. Now I use their new TransFIRMer system, which is a lot of fun and very effective. I kept at it, and started seeing muscle develop where fat used to be. My waist got slimmer. My ass, along with my spirits, lifted. I'm still losing weight and gaining lean muscle, though I have some ways to go, I refuse to stop now. I have arm muscles that if I used with force, could fuck you up. So if you're a big fat ass and you wanna lose some weight, I highly recommend The Firm. Just be sure to get tons of protein (dont go there), eat healthy, and drink plenty of water and you'll see results very quickly.

Quote provided by The Firm's official website